Confessions of Niña Esclava
January 8, 2015What did I do?!
“Suck it up cupcake”. –my mother
When I came to work with my mom, I was basically straight out of college and I had also just been corporately brain washed. So showing up to a pen and paper schedule, post it “reminders” literally everywhere and an overall creative work space…. Left me speechless and pretty overwhelmed. So I did what everyone needs to do every once in a while, took a big step back to contemplate my choices: A.) I quit. The bum life wasn’t so bad, and I’ve been to frat parties with worse sanitation than dumpster food. B.) Xanax. I could totally state a case for high anxiety right now. But, I guess druggie was basically going to lead me to the bum life too. C.) Put my big girl panties on and fix it. – (Looking back maybe option A and B weren’t that bad?! Kidding)
Y’all thought I was kidding?! My mom gave me these on my 22nd Birthday…
Twerk & WERK
“I’ve always believed that if you put in the twerk, the results will come”. – Michael Jordan (ok, maybe I edited a tad)
After arriving on my first day, I decided to put my overactive and organizationally obnoxious type A personality to use. So after charting everything, assigning everything an excel spreadsheet, and making more to-do list than the entire country on New Year’s Day, I had a start. I was making head way. I could find everything I needed and I was becoming more efficient every day—and then I hit a wall. As it turns out, my mom didn’t even know how to turn on the computer… *face palm*
I’ve been bossing since diapers. 1995.
For weeks I spent at least half of my day explaining the “modern world” and what things like twerking are to my mom (for this there was a visual aid…with a client. I don’t want to talk about it.) You can see why the internet and this blog all seem very uncertain to her… thanks Miley!
So basically, mom has come to the conclusion that computers are the devil and clearly as her daughter I am in- tune enough with her to read her mind and do it all for her – cool. I’m definitely up for the challenge, but brief note: if ever you thought working for your parents would be AWESOME?!?! You. Are. Wrong. Go back to GO and do not collect $200.
My first creative meeting with my staff. It was casual Friday. 1992.
We Altar your Dress NOT your body, and other comments that are going to get me fired (aka- the title of my future best selling book)
“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” -Bruce Lee
I have said “that’s not my job,” so many times that my mom forced me into making it my New Year’s resolution to stop saying it. But seriously how does taking my little brother to IKEA to buy dorm essentials translate into our business needs?! This, my friends, is why my employees lovingly call me “Niña Esclava.” The Spanish translation is ‘child slave’, and sister friend, until you have balanced your mom’s business financials while simultaneously booking her dentist appointment, AND listen to your sibling make dinner demands—YOU HAVE NO IDEA!
What?! You and your doll didn’t prance around in matching outfits 24/7?!
So what’s the hardest part of my job? … Keeping control of my thoughts. You know when you get home from work and it’s been a really tough day and all you want to do is vent about how your boss has been a bit…? I can’t finish that sentence on this blog any more than I can at home, living with my boss.
So here I am, with a podium and a sailor’s mouth. Not sure who let me off the leash but I’m about to let the Bit… Dogs out.
Adios,
Niña Esclava
Aka Rylee Calvert
#confessionsofNiñaEsclava
